What Is a Dad? How the Reality of Being a Father Surprises American Men

Maskot/Getty As a child, Kevin Hughes loved being part of a big family. One of four kids, he had tons of cousins. There were gigantic get-togethers and hours-long games of Ghost in the Graveyard. Hughes took it as writ that it was his job to look after his younger relatives and was comfortable babysitting by the time he hit middle school. He filed away information and ideas about how he intended to approach fatherhood in the future. Today, Hughes, now 37, lives in Minneapolis with his wife and son, who will turn 1 this summer. He credits his upbringing for how comfortable he feels around his infant son. But even though he was about as prepared to be a dad as any man could reasonably be, Hughes admits the transition has been a shock to the system. “You pass this threshold where there’s no going back,” says Hughes. “He’s always going to be around, and you can always be doing something as a parent to improve his existence.” Parents have kids — everyone understands this. But that doesn’t mean everyone understands the nature of that experience. Few do prior to having it, and that number may be decreasing: Newly released Centers for Disease Control and Prevention data shows that United States birth rates are in a record slump , which doesn’t simply mean fewer babies. It means people are waiting and acclimating to a kid-free adult lifestyle. The average age of first-time fatherhood has climbed steadily upward, from 27.4 years in 1972 to 30.9 in 2015, according to data released in 20…